It Must Be Love Part 2

Don't think I haven't noticed the ridonkulous popularity of my 'It Must Be Love' post - I'm guessing a lot of instructors out there have experienced the googly eyes, you lucky devils you.  So, in sympathy I've decided to make a Part 2, or Second Date if you will. 

I googled Instructor and Student and this came up - love it!

 

Now a long long time ago, in a land far away, I fell in love.  Well, I thought it was love. This magical land was called Egypt (you may have heard of it, there's been some shit going down lately), and I was a fresh-faced young recruitment consultant on holiday with a friend - two weeks in the sun, no strings, easy like Sunday morning right?  WRONG!  Tell that to the me that ended up on the transfer coach back to Sharm airport literally dripping with snot and inconsolable. I'm not usually a big crier (Sharkboy would disagree massively) but I swear the other passengers put on their lifejackets just in case.

 

The friend I went on holiday with was keen to do her Open Water course, and persuaded me to join her.  To be honest at the time I couldn't have cared less, but she didn't want to do it on her own, and if I didn't then I would have been alone for most of the holiday, which I really didn't want, so I agreed and we signed up.  The first day was pretty dull - classroom work, swim tests, "WHAT THE HELL, YOU WANT ME TO TAKE MY MASK OFF????".  Yeah, that didn't go down well, in fact my instructor (thank you sweetheart!) ended up grabbing my leg to drag me back down as I bolted for the surface.  I'm not recommending that as a course of action for everybody, but it worked for me and there's every possibility that if he hadn't done that, I wouldn't be where I am today.  We headed back to the hotel in the early evening, got showered and dressed and went downstairs to the pool bar for a sundowner.  We were staying in a very small hotel that I had stayed in the year previously with two friends, so I knew the place and the staff fairly well...but hello, who was this??  Suddenly this bronzed Adonis with muscles everywhere and the smallest red Speedo you've ever seen leapt out of the pool and started doing push ups in front of us.  Unable to draw my eyes from him, my first thought was "What a twat".  My friend agreed, and we happily went back to our drinks. 

 

Later on that evening, during dinner, the Animation (Entertainment) Team announced a bingo night, and guess who was the compere, Banana Hammock himself!  He smiled charmingly and made every excuse to come to our table.  His English wasn't the best, but those beautiful white teeth and huge biceps made an impression regardless, and actually he came across as quite a decent guy in the end, if a bit of a playboy.  He invited me out into Sharm Old Town after his shift was done, so around midnight, I packed my friend off to bed and went off to meet him outside the hotel like a naughty school girl.  Immediately he grabbed my hand and started showing me off like I was the woman of his dreams - to be honest, it's very difficult not to be charmed by that sort of behavior.  We sat in the market and drank tea, and when I was inevitably bitten by a squadron of mosquitos, he ordered lemon juice and rubbed it on my bites.  By the end of the evening I was a goner.  By the end of the holiday I was in love with the man and the diving.

 

The relationship continued for a couple of years, to the point where I was heading back to Egypt every three months, and we even got engaged.  It was fiery, passionate - we had the most blazing rows in my terrible Arabic and his terrible English which always ended the same way, ahem.  Looking back on it now, it was an obsessive and destructive relationship, and in the end it was diving that tore us apart.  We were together when I headed to Utila to go pro, and his jealousy over my love of the sport thankfully ended us within two days of my arrival.  My mourning period was surprisingly short, but then it's difficult to be sad in such an atmosphere, and I soon moved on to greener pastures.  I've been back to Egypt since, and my arrival is always heralded with a message or phone call from him, and once or twice even a late night visit bearing flowers or teddy bears.  As of two years ago he still hadn't got the message, but communication lines have opened recently, and I believe he is doing very well as a dolphin trainer in Saudi Arabia these days, so good for him.  The muscles have become a little flabbier, and the laughter lines a little deeper, and if he posts one more quote from the Quran on Facebook I'm defriending him; but I'm glad that he's settled.

 

Relationships come and go you see, at least the wrong ones do, and it's other passions, such as diving, that keep us grounded.  We all need something, or someone, in our lives that is steady and reliable, and for the last 7 years for me that has been diving.  My love life might have been stuck in the mud or up in the air, but when I sink beneath the surface, I am free. 

 

 



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Spare the Rod

and Spoil the Child - an old phrase but one that still rings true.  But in this case, I'm not here to talk about children, at least, not the small kind.  Have you ever worked with someone or had someone work for you that you just rack your brains about?  You try and you try but no amount of help or counseling can make them change their ways?  I'm faced with this dilemma at the moment, well, me and one or two others, and it's a toughie.  Talk about keeping you up at night, if you could bottle that nervous, nail-biting, 'whatthefuckdoIdonow' feeling, Nescafe would go out of business.  And yes, 'whatthefuckdoIdonow' has just been added to my online dictionary, I'm a big fan.

Some people just blow me away in terms of attitude, and divers seem to be some of the worst.  For someone who regularly takes part in such a humbling experience as diving, how dare we have a snobby attitude!  Diving is a blessing that is not to be taken lightly, as are jobs in this shitty economy, so why throw away a perfectly good one because you decide to behave like you're better than everyone else?  Now don't get me wrong, I've been disciplined (ooer!) and even fired from a job, but never because of my attitude - I was just shit at my job and I hated it, and no amount of training was going to cure that; but my god while I was there I tried!  I slogged my guts out until the very end, clinging on with both hands and a few teeth until finally my company got fed up of me, and rightly so.  I have never been fired or disciplined however, while working in a diving position, and I'm particularly proud of that fact.  Of course, time can always change that fact, and I'm not perfect (well...), but every day I wake up convinced of my own vulnerability and determined to show the world what a hard worker I am.

For those of you currently working as a professional in the diving industry - ask yourself, do you take your job for granted?  Do you have those days where the alarm clock is a little bit quieter than usual?  Have you ever made an excuse to not get in the water?  If you answer yes to those things, you're only human, but maybe you're also in the wrong job.  Maybe that company isn't for you, maybe the country or your colleagues are not your cup of tea, the key is to change while you still can.  Don't get stuck in a dead-end job that you clearly hate and then expect to be able to teach good courses.  Humans are sensitive creatures, and no matter how well you think you're hiding that bad attitude, your clients will pick up on it.  Cheesy as it sounds, we are in the business of creating smiles and memories, and no one wants a fake one from either.  Next time someone refers to it as 'oxygen' for the 100th time that week, or asks what the red button does, just smile sweetly and remember that it might be the 100th time for you, but it's the first time for them. 

As for those of you with a holier than thou attitude, I would like to share a quote from the late great Jacques Cousteau - "It takes generosity to discover the whole through others. If you realize you are only a violin, you can open yourself up to the world by playing your role in the concert ".  I'm not any great shakes at literature but even I can understand that one - no man is an island, so don't go thinking you're Ibiza.


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It Must Be Love

No penetration before certification...ever heard that one?  As an instructor, we are constantly placed on impossible, and sometimes unfounded pedestals, and if you haven't seen that dreamy look in the eyes of a student of the opposite sex, you're either Quasimodo or a completely useless teacher!  I remember vividly the hopeless infatuation with my charming and charismatic Open Water instructor - he could do no wrong in my eyes, and actually is still quite a good friend, but at the time I was desperate for his attention.  The same thing happened during my Rescue and Divemaster, developing crushes on the instructors, not necessarily in a sexual way, but in a geeky kid following around the cool kids at school kind of a way.  My instructors on Utila were effortlessly cool in my eyes - clean living, tattooed, tall and slender, people seemed to gravitate around them in a way that they had never done to me.  Strangely enough, almost none of them are still practicing instructors, which is a shame because they are all amazing teachers, but maybe that's how it works, with the 'old' generation giving way to the 'new'.  They'll have to prise the regulator from my cold dead hands before that happens!!

The first time I experienced a student's 'coweyes', I was teaching a confined water session in the UK, in a local indoor swimming pool.  It was a big group, maybe 8 students, and we were on a time limit, so as usual I kept my head down and got on with the work, not particularly interested in making friends.  My bus was late that day, so I flounced into the pool area red faced and sweating, still in my outside clothes, to find all my students sat waiting in their bathing suits.  I didn't notice the guy in question at first, other than to clock that he was wearing Speedos and seemed quite cocky.  As the session continued, he in particular had a few problems with mask clearing, so I spent a bit of extra time with him under water before passing him to the Divemaster to continue practicing the skill while I finished off with the others.  At the end of the session, I jumped back in the pool while everyone was dismantling their gear to pick something up, maybe some dropped weights, and noticed his eyes on me when I climbed out of the pool.  He made a few cheeky comments, and I forget the banter with the passing years, but he drew a smile, I remember that much.  Later on he told me that the shape of my mask made a heart around my eyes, and it was that that kept him calm underwater...charmer.  About a week later, he found me on Facebook, or I found him, and we started exchanging messages.  He asked me out for dinner, I accepted, and the rest, as they say, is history!  We were together for a little while, eventually ending when I moved to Bahrain, and as far as I'm aware, he never dived again after finishing his Open Water, which is a shame, but not that surprising.  Unfortunately a lot of students who complete their course in the UK usually just do it for a particular holiday and then give up afterwards due to lack of time and money.

So the moral of this story?  To be honest, I don't really have one.  I know a lot of couples in the diving industry who started as instructor and student, and are still very happy to this day.  Equally I know a few instructors who unfortunately thrive on the 'power' and are well-known predators when it comes to their students.  One chap used to only speak to girls a day or two before they were due to leave the island, because he knew he wouldn't have to deal with the cling-ons afterwards.  I heard about an instructor couple who used to swing with their students, so you see, it takes all types.  I'm not suggesting that dating your students is a bad idea, that is after all how me and Sharkboy got together, but I would recommend caution.  The 'no penetration before certification' rule is a good one to live by but there is still plenty of trouble to get into before that occurs.  Just like with every good relationship, get to know the person behind the mask first, because once they're out of their Speedo, all you're left with is the person, not the instructor!



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6 Days a Week??

So I was speaking to my parents the other day, amazed at how after 6 years of doing this job they still take the time to 'encourage' me to come home and 'get a real job'.  I wonder if other instructors have this conversation as often as I do - I suspect so.  Supportive or not, there will always be an element to people's thinking that a professional diver pretty much just sits around on the beach and drinks cocktails, occasionally taking some young hot backpacker beneath the waves for a little underwater seduction.  Believe me, I wish it was like this!!  Have you ever tried seducing someone underwater?  It's hard man!  Saltwater in the eyes, clown fish trying to peck your nose off, fin blisters, mosquito bites, snot all over your face when you surface - trust me when I say that diving ain't as sexy as they would have you believe, and definitely not as easy...

A typical dive day with typical guests

When I left the UK for the Middle East, for my first ever full time diving job, I went as an instructor to a country that I believed to be completely strict and hardline - imagining fantastic diving conditions but almost no social life.  Boy, was I wrong!  My first weekend in Bahrain saw me perched on the edge of sanity watching a clutch of military men strip naked and start drinking games, fascinated with the idea of a British female diving instructor.  To say I was in clover is under-selling.  These men were amazing to me coming from cold and dank UK, where the men rarely even notice the words falling from your lips before proposing something undoubtedly disgusting in a regional accent (you may be able to tell I'm not a fan of the average British male - certain men excepting I'm sure!).  Here they were strong, fit, tattooed, polite with just a hint of 'I could kill you with my thumb' that was intoxicating.  And even better, most of them could dive! 

As for the diving itself - imagine swimming in a completely brown very warm bath, with only the occasional cuttlefish or small damselfish to break the gloom.  It was definitely not the best diving I had ever done in my life, and in the first two weeks I had three trips to hospital to remove fishing hooks from my hands and have tetanus shots, but the people, for the most part, were pleasant and the money was good.  Working with a great commission structure helped, as well as having my own apartment for the first time ever, complete with gym and pool; all of these conspired to keep me in the country, on and off, for three years.

A typical dive!

The moral of this story is, before choosing a location for your dive job, make sure you research thoroughly and enter into everything with eyes wide open.  Bahrain was not the perfect job, but it was a perfect stepping stone for something bigger.  Don't travel anywhere with preconceptions or prejudices, and most importantly of all - ACCEPT EVERY INVITIATION!  Oh and be safe ;)

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Famous Last Words...

As all good things that must come to an end, today marks the end of my story from Utila, or at least the main part.  There are other chapters that I'm sure will crop up in future posts, but it has been enormously fun reliving it!  I feel like that part of my life was so long ago I can't even picture the person I was back then any more, which is ironic considering that where I am in my life right now is surprisingly similar - nervous, full of hope, launching into something unexpected that although I know is an amazing opportunity, many people have told me it's doomed from the start.  I try and keep a positive outlook on things and avoid those 'toxic' people who seem desperate to infuse you with their pessimism, and of course the ever-reassuring prescence of Sharkboy is an untold comfort.  He faces the final chapter of his IDC and IE in the coming week, and is struggling with self-doubt.  I want to reassure him about what an amazing instructor he will be, and I have no doubt he will be, and I hope if he's reading this (which he'd better be!!) he has gained a little comfort from my own story.  

Week Seven in Utila - Unleash The Beast

I'm now writing this from home, quite depressed and jetlagged, not loving being back in London, but hey, at least it's sunny right?! The last week has been ridiculously hectic! Had all of the OWSI exams, which were quite tough, and the bloody theory exams again as well!! I got a 5 out of 5 in my confined water session though, so that's always good...

After our IE (Instructor Exams), we all went for dinner at a really nice restaurant called Kate's where Angel, one of our course directors teaching us, decided to lead us in one final presentation - tequila body shots!! Very funny, with me and Beckie as his assistants (see photos on Facebook!) - lots more drink followed and I had a great night from what I can remember. The following night I had my snorkel test at the UDC BBQ, which was also very drunken, as Jason, the guy who administers the booze, pretty much just gave me beer and rum...we all went to a club afterwards, and well, let's just say skinny dipping was involved :).

My last night was quite quiet, just dinner and a couple of drinks, was broken by that point, so didn't want to go too far! I had to get up at 5am yesterday morning to get my flight at 6am, then the little propeller plane stopped at Roatan, La Ceiba and San Pedro Sula before we even got to Houston!! Loooooong time travelling, but am home safe and sound now and attempting to unpack, but procrastinating by trying to catch up on 2 months of Eastenders!

Well, those are the end of my adventures, until the next time I jet off! I will be sure and try to catch up with you all now that I'm back, but, I am now officially home.

 

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New Beginnings

Remember when sex was fun and diving was dangerous?  Me too, but more and more technological advancements are being made to make diving one of the safer 'extreme' sports.  I was talking with Sharkboy about an incident that happened a long time that ended in the death of a student, and I was reminded how easy it is for an instructor to lose focus.  The problem is that the student is only as trustworthy as the instructor, and if you place your trust in the wrong people, this is when accidents happen.  PADI tells us that the majority of accidents happen because of 'diver error', but I fear that the case is more like 'instructor error'.  It is worrying how many stories you hear about instructors messing up, usually to save face or to seem cool; an example springs to mind of a girl telling me she will never dive again because for her Open Water Dive 1 the instructor took her on a tiger shark feeding dive.  I wouldn't dive again after that either.

For those of you who don't dive, but are thinking of starting, the moral is this - do the research and find a recommended instructor; don't go automatically for the cheapest or the nearest option.  For those of you who do dive and wish to continue doing so - trust your instinct above all else; if something feels wrong, it probably is.

Week Six in Utila - Diving Up A Storm

Gosh, doesn't time fly when you're having fun, only a week and a bit left of my mission here - not sure I'm ready to come home yet between you and me, but don't really have a choice at this stage!

Have been doing my IDC (Instructor Development Course) for just over a week, and finished today an Assistant Instructor. We have our Mock Instructor Exams tomorrow and Saturday, then I'm doing my EFR (CPR) Instructor exams on Saturday afternoon and Sunday, get Monday off for revision, then IE (Instructor Exams) on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday morning - then I'm getting very, very pissed!!! The good news is, there's a Level 4 (out of 5) hurricane expected to hit on Monday and Tuesday, so maybe the examiners will go easy on us?! We have an independent PADI examiner who comes over from California especially to audit us on those 3 days, so hopefully we won't waste his time!

2 people have already dropped out due to malaria, which is rife at the moment, but another girl from the US has joined halfway through because she was already an Assistant Instructor. At the moment we are 5 girls and 5 boys, which works out quite well, and both of our Course Directors are male (and one is very nice). Am starting to get a little bit nervous now, they were harder on us today than they are most days, because we have our mocks tomorrow, and everyone scored 1 out of 5 for their confined water presentations, apart from me and another girl, who got 4, so that's okay!

The IDC consists of 7 parts - Dive Theory Exams (Physics, Decompression Theory and Dive Planning, Physiology, Dive Environment and Skills, and Equipment); an open book PADI Standards exam; confined water presentations (where you have to demonstrate a skill in the pool, then you get students with problems which you have to catch in time and correct); open water presentations (same as above, but in open water off the boat, and you have 2 skills to present); prescriptive teaching (where you run through quizzes in front of the class and elaborate on any questions that were missed or answered incorrectly); lecturing; and rescue scenarios. You have to get a score above 3.5 in everything in order to pass, 85% on the standards exam and 75% in all the other exams. So far I haven't scored below a 4, 80% in the exams, and 90% in the standards exam - so fingers crossed!!

After all this is done, I have the grand total of 2 nights off to enjoy myself before I have to come home :( Can't believe it's all gone past so quickly. I've made some amazing friends here and met lots of weird and wonderful people, and I know now that diving isn't just a fad for me, I can really see myself doing this, maybe not full time until I find my feet, but definitely part time and at weekends, maybe around a recruitment job somewhere - but it's a good feeling to know that you are good at something that you love as well!!

Well, will try and write more, maybe next Friday, as am going to be stupidly busy next week. Cross everything for me and wish me luck!!!xxx

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Spend a Penny

Apologies for not updating sooner, I've been in 'town' with Sharkboy for a few days enjoying sun, sea, cocktails and a little distance away from Shutter Island.  He's starting his IDC this week, under circumstances that while I may not agree with, I have agreed to support, and I can only hope that he has sense enough to make the most of them.  When we pay for something, I am of the opinion that we should take the opportunity to learn with our money, not to waste the chances given to us.  Failing that, and at the risk of sounding like my mother, I promise not to be angry...just disappointed.  On with the show:

Week Five in Utila - Doesn't Time Fly

Wow, only 3 weeks left, can't believe how quickly this is going, time really does fly when you're having fun!!

Well, the good news is that as of this morning I will be a Divemaster, and then I start my full Instructor course tomorrow afternoon!  The Rescue course went well, got to drown lots of fat people, which was nice, and a couple of them have decided to stay on and do their DM, so I get to boss them around again when I'm an Instructor (not that I'm doing this for the power or anything.....).

I've also been helping out on various Open Water and Advanced Open Water courses, which are fun, but not quite as agressive as the Rescue! They are mostly just good for getting your dives up. I need 60 to qualify for my DM and I'm on 57 at the moment, so will be diving this afternoon and tomorrow morning which will get me another 4 or 8 depending on how I plan it out.

I moved from the Mansion a couple of days ago and have moved into a 2-bed apartment directly opposite the Dive Centre, so it now takes me the grand total of 15 seconds to walk to work, and I still manage to be late! I've moved in with Beccy, one of the rotational DM's here at UDC, who is also going on to do her IDC with me tomorrow. She's lovely! The flat is great and very quiet, air conditioning, 2 double bedrooms, power shower (very rare on the island), open plan kitchen, dining and living (with a TV, YES!!), and a balcony that looks out onto the Mangroves, all for $200 a month, which is nice....

Sunjam, the big island music festival was this weekend, but those of us that had to work stayed and had a big bbq, only to be told that we were being roped in to clean the dive shop - fantastic!! We ended up on our hands and knees in bikinis scrubbing steps and mats, so lots of photos were being taken!! All good fun though, and we were pissed, which helped!

Well, that's all my news really, am still ridiculously busy, but moving so close to the centre has really helped. A few of us went out last night to celebrate me finishing my DM, and I ended going home at 9.30am coz I'm such a wuss!!

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