Famous Last Words...

As all good things that must come to an end, today marks the end of my story from Utila, or at least the main part.  There are other chapters that I'm sure will crop up in future posts, but it has been enormously fun reliving it!  I feel like that part of my life was so long ago I can't even picture the person I was back then any more, which is ironic considering that where I am in my life right now is surprisingly similar - nervous, full of hope, launching into something unexpected that although I know is an amazing opportunity, many people have told me it's doomed from the start.  I try and keep a positive outlook on things and avoid those 'toxic' people who seem desperate to infuse you with their pessimism, and of course the ever-reassuring prescence of Sharkboy is an untold comfort.  He faces the final chapter of his IDC and IE in the coming week, and is struggling with self-doubt.  I want to reassure him about what an amazing instructor he will be, and I have no doubt he will be, and I hope if he's reading this (which he'd better be!!) he has gained a little comfort from my own story.  

Week Seven in Utila - Unleash The Beast

I'm now writing this from home, quite depressed and jetlagged, not loving being back in London, but hey, at least it's sunny right?! The last week has been ridiculously hectic! Had all of the OWSI exams, which were quite tough, and the bloody theory exams again as well!! I got a 5 out of 5 in my confined water session though, so that's always good...

After our IE (Instructor Exams), we all went for dinner at a really nice restaurant called Kate's where Angel, one of our course directors teaching us, decided to lead us in one final presentation - tequila body shots!! Very funny, with me and Beckie as his assistants (see photos on Facebook!) - lots more drink followed and I had a great night from what I can remember. The following night I had my snorkel test at the UDC BBQ, which was also very drunken, as Jason, the guy who administers the booze, pretty much just gave me beer and rum...we all went to a club afterwards, and well, let's just say skinny dipping was involved :).

My last night was quite quiet, just dinner and a couple of drinks, was broken by that point, so didn't want to go too far! I had to get up at 5am yesterday morning to get my flight at 6am, then the little propeller plane stopped at Roatan, La Ceiba and San Pedro Sula before we even got to Houston!! Loooooong time travelling, but am home safe and sound now and attempting to unpack, but procrastinating by trying to catch up on 2 months of Eastenders!

Well, those are the end of my adventures, until the next time I jet off! I will be sure and try to catch up with you all now that I'm back, but, I am now officially home.

 

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New Beginnings

Remember when sex was fun and diving was dangerous?  Me too, but more and more technological advancements are being made to make diving one of the safer 'extreme' sports.  I was talking with Sharkboy about an incident that happened a long time that ended in the death of a student, and I was reminded how easy it is for an instructor to lose focus.  The problem is that the student is only as trustworthy as the instructor, and if you place your trust in the wrong people, this is when accidents happen.  PADI tells us that the majority of accidents happen because of 'diver error', but I fear that the case is more like 'instructor error'.  It is worrying how many stories you hear about instructors messing up, usually to save face or to seem cool; an example springs to mind of a girl telling me she will never dive again because for her Open Water Dive 1 the instructor took her on a tiger shark feeding dive.  I wouldn't dive again after that either.

For those of you who don't dive, but are thinking of starting, the moral is this - do the research and find a recommended instructor; don't go automatically for the cheapest or the nearest option.  For those of you who do dive and wish to continue doing so - trust your instinct above all else; if something feels wrong, it probably is.

Week Six in Utila - Diving Up A Storm

Gosh, doesn't time fly when you're having fun, only a week and a bit left of my mission here - not sure I'm ready to come home yet between you and me, but don't really have a choice at this stage!

Have been doing my IDC (Instructor Development Course) for just over a week, and finished today an Assistant Instructor. We have our Mock Instructor Exams tomorrow and Saturday, then I'm doing my EFR (CPR) Instructor exams on Saturday afternoon and Sunday, get Monday off for revision, then IE (Instructor Exams) on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday morning - then I'm getting very, very pissed!!! The good news is, there's a Level 4 (out of 5) hurricane expected to hit on Monday and Tuesday, so maybe the examiners will go easy on us?! We have an independent PADI examiner who comes over from California especially to audit us on those 3 days, so hopefully we won't waste his time!

2 people have already dropped out due to malaria, which is rife at the moment, but another girl from the US has joined halfway through because she was already an Assistant Instructor. At the moment we are 5 girls and 5 boys, which works out quite well, and both of our Course Directors are male (and one is very nice). Am starting to get a little bit nervous now, they were harder on us today than they are most days, because we have our mocks tomorrow, and everyone scored 1 out of 5 for their confined water presentations, apart from me and another girl, who got 4, so that's okay!

The IDC consists of 7 parts - Dive Theory Exams (Physics, Decompression Theory and Dive Planning, Physiology, Dive Environment and Skills, and Equipment); an open book PADI Standards exam; confined water presentations (where you have to demonstrate a skill in the pool, then you get students with problems which you have to catch in time and correct); open water presentations (same as above, but in open water off the boat, and you have 2 skills to present); prescriptive teaching (where you run through quizzes in front of the class and elaborate on any questions that were missed or answered incorrectly); lecturing; and rescue scenarios. You have to get a score above 3.5 in everything in order to pass, 85% on the standards exam and 75% in all the other exams. So far I haven't scored below a 4, 80% in the exams, and 90% in the standards exam - so fingers crossed!!

After all this is done, I have the grand total of 2 nights off to enjoy myself before I have to come home :( Can't believe it's all gone past so quickly. I've made some amazing friends here and met lots of weird and wonderful people, and I know now that diving isn't just a fad for me, I can really see myself doing this, maybe not full time until I find my feet, but definitely part time and at weekends, maybe around a recruitment job somewhere - but it's a good feeling to know that you are good at something that you love as well!!

Well, will try and write more, maybe next Friday, as am going to be stupidly busy next week. Cross everything for me and wish me luck!!!xxx

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Spend a Penny

Apologies for not updating sooner, I've been in 'town' with Sharkboy for a few days enjoying sun, sea, cocktails and a little distance away from Shutter Island.  He's starting his IDC this week, under circumstances that while I may not agree with, I have agreed to support, and I can only hope that he has sense enough to make the most of them.  When we pay for something, I am of the opinion that we should take the opportunity to learn with our money, not to waste the chances given to us.  Failing that, and at the risk of sounding like my mother, I promise not to be angry...just disappointed.  On with the show:

Week Five in Utila - Doesn't Time Fly

Wow, only 3 weeks left, can't believe how quickly this is going, time really does fly when you're having fun!!

Well, the good news is that as of this morning I will be a Divemaster, and then I start my full Instructor course tomorrow afternoon!  The Rescue course went well, got to drown lots of fat people, which was nice, and a couple of them have decided to stay on and do their DM, so I get to boss them around again when I'm an Instructor (not that I'm doing this for the power or anything.....).

I've also been helping out on various Open Water and Advanced Open Water courses, which are fun, but not quite as agressive as the Rescue! They are mostly just good for getting your dives up. I need 60 to qualify for my DM and I'm on 57 at the moment, so will be diving this afternoon and tomorrow morning which will get me another 4 or 8 depending on how I plan it out.

I moved from the Mansion a couple of days ago and have moved into a 2-bed apartment directly opposite the Dive Centre, so it now takes me the grand total of 15 seconds to walk to work, and I still manage to be late! I've moved in with Beccy, one of the rotational DM's here at UDC, who is also going on to do her IDC with me tomorrow. She's lovely! The flat is great and very quiet, air conditioning, 2 double bedrooms, power shower (very rare on the island), open plan kitchen, dining and living (with a TV, YES!!), and a balcony that looks out onto the Mangroves, all for $200 a month, which is nice....

Sunjam, the big island music festival was this weekend, but those of us that had to work stayed and had a big bbq, only to be told that we were being roped in to clean the dive shop - fantastic!! We ended up on our hands and knees in bikinis scrubbing steps and mats, so lots of photos were being taken!! All good fun though, and we were pissed, which helped!

Well, that's all my news really, am still ridiculously busy, but moving so close to the centre has really helped. A few of us went out last night to celebrate me finishing my DM, and I ended going home at 9.30am coz I'm such a wuss!!

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Rescue Me!

Rescue skills are very important in the diving world, mostly because unfortunately you never know when you're going to need them.  Even more unfortunately, I've had to use mine more than once, and I'm forever grateful to my instructors going along, and my students, that I've had good training and even better opportunity to brush up my skills.  I love teaching rescue, even if invariable the courses end up with me being injured somehow - broken toes are not uncommon.  But don't for one minute think that diving is unsafe - diving, like with any other sport, is only as unsafe as the person doing it, and if you trust your buddy there should be no reason to worry.  One member of staff said to me yesterday that his instructor, when he was starting his open water course, asked why he was scared to dive?  "Because diving is dangerous", my friend replied.  His instructor calmly pointed out that more people die in their beds than they do anywhere else in the world, and yet no one is afraid to go to sleep at night...

Week Four in Utila - Nobody Told Me This Was a Working Holiday!

I've abandoned the Spanish because I've started trying to speak it when drunk which doesn't impress the locals believe me!! Well, this week has been super-busy to say the least!! My first week as a Dive Master Trainee is over, and according to my mentor, I'm flying through, yay! So far I've done my swim test, 4 exams, assisted on an Open Water course and a Rescue Diver course, demonstrated 20 skills underwater to a class and had a medical - all in one week!!

Just another day at the office...

My typical day at the moment consists of getting up at 5.30am to be at the dive shop for just after 6am. If I'm on a 7.30am boat, I have to greet the resort divers and get all their equipment ready, then set up the boat with first aid, oxygen etc. I'm getting to know all the boat captains, and one of them asked me out to dinner last week - unfortunately he's about 40, married with kids, but that's Utila for you!! Yesterday for example, I was in the shop at 6.30am, getting equipment ready for 9 Open Water students. Was in the boat at 7.30am, did two dives before 10am, then back to the centre, taking photos and certifying the students who were all really chuffed (most of them didn't speak English as they were Switzerland so I had to translate the course for them into German as we were going along...), teaching them how to rinse their equipment properly and put it away, debriefing with the instructor, paperwork, then setting up equipment for 9 Rescue Diver students, back in the water at 11.30am, out of the water at 4.45pm, in a Decompression Theory class at 5pm, out at 6.15pm, into a Staff Meeting at 6.30pm, out at 7.30pm, then sat down with my mentor for an hour - it never stops!!!

Can't complain though, I'm very lucky. This is an amazing experience and I've really discovered a passion for something that previously I thought was just a hobby. I don't mind getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning because I'm itching to get into the water (and itching generally - damn sandflies!).

Am loving assisting on the Rescue course at the moment as I get to fuck people up!! I have to drown in varying degrees of panic, and all the big blokes keep coming for me because they assume that, as a girl, I won't put up much of a fight - MWAH HAH HAH!!! Yesterday I sat on one underwater, ripped out 3 regulators, broke a mask and 2 fins!!! My points score is way higher than all the other DMTs!! It's payback time - I'm introducing my new technique of alligator rolling today, can't wait!! Let's see them try and hold me then!!

Who doesn't love a good rescue!

Sunshine on a Rainy Day

As with everything in life, bad turns into good and back around again.  It is impossible, in this environment to stay miserable forever, much as you want to sometimes.  You try and put on a brave face, and eventually that faces becomes your real one, and as I always say (or at least have done for the last 5 weeks), there's nothing a good gym session can't cure!  My mission to lose weight continues, and the usual frustrations with the office and life melt away with the sweat and a big dose of reggae music blasting through my eardrums.  I was a very fat kid, and my time in Utila went some way to proving that there was bone structure under the layers...doing four dives a day with almost no food and lots of alcohol is possibly the world's worst and best diet!  And on that note, if you're still paying attention, we shall continue.  Don't ask me who I'm talking about going for drinks with, God only knows if I can remember, but Alex was the love of my life at the time, and a story for another time.

Week Three in Utila - Exhaustion Strikes

Hola! See, I'm picking up the lingo already - check me out!! I can now converse adequately with my lady that does (I say hola every morning and evening, and occasionally que t'al), well, it's just a good job everyone on the island speaks English, that's all I can say.

Things are progressing really well with my courses. I finished my Rescue Diver finally on Sunday, which was hell underwater!! Dom is Satan in disguise - at one point I had to deal with a panicking diver underwater, then Alex and Dom swam past me, ripped off my mask, ripped out my reg (the thing you need to breathe), unclipped my BCD (inflatable jacket with air tank attached) and stole one of my fins. So I was sat there 7m under, watching all my equipment floating past me and thinking, "Shit, I need that to live". All worked out okay in the end though!! We then had to kick ourselves on board a boat without using a ladder after towing a tired diver about 300m over the surf, and then lift them on board - I got a rather large Argentian chap to lift, lucky me!! We had to get them to the boat, get ourselves on board, them on board and start giving them CPR and breaths within 30 seconds - not easy!!

I started my Dive Master course officially on Monday, and so far I've done 2 exams and my swim test. After helping out with some resort divers yesterday morning, we had the exam and then the swim test with no breaks for food or a rest!! Nightmare!! The swim test was 400m freestyle as quickly as possible, then 800m snorkelling with fins as quickly as possibly, then 200m tired diver tow, then treading water for 15mins with our arms in the air. Phewee!! All done though - yay!! As soon as I've done one more exam and demonstrated the 20 skills needed for Open Water, I can start assisting on courses and getting my dive numbers up.

Today was awesome!! I was in the shop for 6.30am to help out in the equipment room and gear up all the boats (basically lugging about 30 air tanks across the dock to the boats). Got on a boat at 8.30am with a load of Argentian (what is it with these people!!) resort divers (basically that means they are staying in a hotel, are usually quite experienced divers with their own gear and we aren't allowed to tell them off or help them if they go wrong because they are just here to have fun). We sighted about 60 spinner dolphins off the stern, so jumped in to snorkel with them - it was amazing!! I had 2 adults, a juvenile and a baby about 2m below me at one point, just coasting along and singing really loudly!! We then did 2 dives off a great site called the Pinnacles where we swam through some caves at about 40m/130ft, and saw an eagle ray, a stingray ray, a 3m grouper, a 5ft tarpon, squid, lobster - best dives ever!!!! Am still quite hyper, you might have realised!! Then back this afternoon to do my second exam where I got 100% - the only one in the class, check me out!! Got 90% yesterday, but still the highest of the class - yeah!!

Well, that's all my news really, I've got to go and see what time my skills have be done tomorrow, and I have another exam at 2pm, and then I've passed all the entry requirements, thank god!!! Oh, and 7 more people have moved into my house, and I'm sharing with a weird Danish girl for a week who is very rude. I have a plug-in mosquito thing behind her bed, and she said "That's healthy, so I have to breathe it in at night do I?". I replied, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realise you'd rather die from malaria, I'll put it back on my side of the room and open all the windows at night shall I?". She stopped talking after that. Expletive, expletive......

P.S Me and Alex are officially over, boys smell, apart from one particularly nice one I've met here, we're going for drinks on Friday

Very serious and hard at work...

A Sad Moment

Had some bad news come through today, unfortunately at the ripe old age of 94 my grandad, and last remaining grandparent, has died.  The rain in the Maldives at the moment certainly seems to be matching my mood, but how sad can you be when you think that someone had 94 years on this planet, leaving behind 2 children, 5 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren, having fought for his country, lived in some of the most exotic places in the world, drank tea in the gardens of Sri Lanka long before it became 'au fait', and was still making grandfather clocks for his neighbours and friends long after he should have been allowed to shinny up a ladder.  Rest in peace Grandad, if anyone deserves it you do, and I hope I have accomplished just half of what you have when I'm anywhere near your age.

And so on to the next piece of the saga - enjoy!

Week Two in Utila - The Toe Saga Continues...

Hello everybody!! Well, you find me in a much better mood today, I'm back in the water, yay!!! Did two dives this morning, upsettingly not as good as Egypt, but very pleasant nonetheless, saw a big stingray, humungous crab that had fallen into a barrel sponge rather amusingly, and a big Barracuda.

I've met up with one of the other girls who came from Real Gap, who will be doing her DMT with me starting on Monday, and I start my Rescue Course with Dom tomorrow, which is good news, because a. I wanted to do it with Dom, and b. I'm pooing myself about it because the DM's try their hardest to drown you and I want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. In one of the scenarios, Dom takes a black fin and pretends there's a shark attack, then whilst you are saving the bitten, desperatly flailing panicked diver, one of the DM's comes up behind you, takes off your mask and turns off your air whilst you are underwater. Looking forward to that one.

The Dive Master Training (DMT) starts for me on Monday, with a chap called Jason as my mentor, who is half south african and is recovering from a particularly nasty bout of Dengue that appears to be going round the island. It kicks off with 5 initial exams before you're even allowed on the course - 3 paper exams on physics, skills certification (seeing if I remember stuff from my open water) and a swim test (400m swimming, 100m tired diver tow, 800m with a snorkel and flippers, 15mins floating on your back). Looks like monday's going to be a busy day!! And then I'm basically going to be everyone's bitch for 4 weeks. Excellent...

The toe is much better, Dr John ripped out the final piece on Monday which caused me a lot of pain and blood loss, but all over with now. Didn't help that Alex stood on it with his wooden leg, which meant that he couldn't feel it, but I certainly could! Hey ho!

Well, think that's it for now, I've got the afternoon off, so I'm going to go and grab some banana cake before heading to the pool at the Mango Inn, then maybe sit on the patio at home and watch Charlie and Lola the dogs chase hummingbirds through the coconut palms. Big UDC bbq tonight, so must make the most of newly-single life, hmmm, what to wear.....

Charlie and Lola in their element!

Utila Days Part 1

Wow, 94 page views in 1 day, I'm a lucky girl!  Although Sharkboy wasn't overly impressed with the pen name...tough nuts babe!  Now after a day like today, all I wanted to do was drift away to happier times, so here is an excerpt from an email note I started writing when first went to Utila in 2007.  Enjoy, and there will be more to come.

The wonderful Dr John...what a legend

Hello everybody!!! Well, I'm here!! My nightmare 3 days travelling to the US, and then to San Pedro Sula, and then Utila in a propeller plane is over!!! The propeller plane was incredibly hairy, particularly when our intrepid Capitan Carlos decided to fly one-handed with his elbow out of the window...until the window fell off...

Landed safely though, thank God, and had a bumpy ride down to the dive centre. Everyone here drives either golf carts, motorbikes, quad bikes or bicycles, but it's easiest just to walk. The island is so small, you could probably walk it in under an hour. However, this also means that everyone knows everyone's business, so it's just like being back at boarding school again, just with less bitching and more piss-taking!

So, the good news as follows - the sandflies and mosquitos have taken an instant liking to me and are happily feasting away, and no amount of Deet, baby oil, mosquito repellent or citronella will keep them away. I'm hoping they'll get bored of me fairly soon. Perhaps wishful thinking! Everyone on the island is lovely, and speaks perfect English with a Spanish/Caribbean accent, which is quite amusing. My diving instructor, Dom, is lovely, as is his girlfriend, and comes from Sutton, so we have lots of talk about. I'm living in a big called La Mansion about 15mins away from the dive shop, so the walking is doing me good and sweating out all of my English puppy fat!! At least, that's what I'm telling myself. I'm living with 2 girls and 2 guys, all very nice, all marine biologists working for the dolphin and whale shark conservation centre. The girls are in their 30s/40s and the guys are younger, and very funny. I've been spending a lot of time with them. Chris is Austrian and a business reporter doing volunteer work over here, but is bored with everyone talking about the same thing, so has started asking everyone what their favourite sexual position is, and Alex is from Brighton studying for a Masters, and his favourite party trick is setting his wooden leg on fire and lighting cigarettes from it!! Oh, and I have finished the first part of my course, EFR, the first aid, so I am part way there!

The bad news - well, yesterday, when completing my first aid course, I caught my big toe nail in the floorboards and ripped it 90% off. Much pain and blood, lucky we were doing first aid. Dom took me to the doctors on a motorbike, which with the state of the roads here didn't really help my toe. I was seen by Dr John who is clinically insane and advocates building a crack house on the island to keep people out of trouble, who has told me no water for a week. How gutted am I?! This not only means that I have to spent the entire week studying rather than diving, but that I'm probably going to miss my instructor course which is scheduled for August 8th. So, right now, the options are to finish what I can, and potentially come back in a couple of months or do it somewhere else, or stay on for 4 more weeks, which is looking unlikely as it would mean covering rent, etc, and explaining myself to work, which I don't think they would take very well.

So, now I am known as Nat the Nail, as I said everyone on the island knows everything....I hobble along quite happily, and I've now got to go and speak to the course director in an attempt to sort my life out - wish me luck!!!!

Saturday 14th

JUST GET ME IN THAT WATER!!!!!! ARGH!!!!! Only 4 more days to wait, I can do it, and at least I'm getting all of my classroom work out of the way in the meantime, which is great because I can then just jump straight into the water as soon as I'm healed. Crazy Dr John is whipping out the last bit of toenail, bleurgh, on Monday, then hopefully Wednesday I should be diver-fit! Can't wait!! Another guy on my Rescue Course saw a 6ft nurse shark and an eagle ray a couple of days ago, and the guy from the Centre for Marine Ecology has been seeing signs of whale sharks, out of season, so fingers crossed!!!!

Last night I had the experience of a Utila pub quiz, which was surprisingly difficult, mostly american questions, but luckily we had Shelby and Dave on our team who are from the US, and Dom was no help at all, even on the diving questions, which was slightly worrying, but we still rose from the bottom to come 2nd. Our team name was, I don't shave my balls. I'm still not sure why, and I had no say over the name! I was up for Team Nails, but nobody was impressed with that one...We won a Scorpion Bowl, which is basically half of a huge melon carved out and filled with ice and every conceivable liquor you could imagine - rum, obviously, vodka, grenadine, lemonade, whiskey, banana rum, and anything else they could find on the top shelf. There were 4 of us drinking it, and it did go down surprisingly easily, which led to a bit of a lock in in the local cafe for me, Becci and Dom, but all good!

Well, I'm off to go and sink another cold beer, oops, I mean Fanta, before class starts again at 1.30pm, maybe have some fresh olive bread and sit on the dock at the diving shop and feed Barry the Barracuda (my new pet, he lives under the resort boat!).